Qu'est-ce qu'une femme? -- What is a woman?

“It’s a girl,” hollers the doctor as he extracts the newborn from her mother’s womb. Sadly, if she just so happens to be Haitian, she technically isn’t a “girl”. Growing up in the Haitian culture is no small feat, especially if you’re blessed or cursed (considering your standpoint) with being a female. From the tender age of 5, I was trained to cook, clean, walk, talk and conduct myself like a lady; there was no choice in the matter. By Haitian standards, a girl is not considered a woman unless she can manage a household with the utmost efficiency. I have had many debates with “old-school” Haitians about the criterion set before young girls. The usual reply is: “it is so once she becomes old enough and gets married, her in-laws cannot shame her for not being able to run her house.” For one, who is to say that every Haitian girl is going to get married? The desecrations of these traditions are diminishing the love of the Haitian culture by young Haitian adults.

Honestly, for anyone to be raised with such high standards, which for some are daunting, is bound to make anyone feel lesser than a person. The psychological strain that are placed on these girls lead to distressing futures in which they are incapable of having healthy relationships. A couple of my friends are now in precarious relationships because they are so caught up in trying to fit this mythical norm set by God knows who, and in the end, they fail to realize that trying to fit this mold is unattainable. What really stands out is that fact cases such as this that is in the Haitian culture, appears in numerous cultures. For instance, in the American culture, we have images set forth through the media that portray unrealistic standards for girls; the need to be thin, sexy and popular exudes through television and magazines. Also, there is the “colorism” issue in India has girls with darker skin trying to lighten up by bleaching their skin. Needless to say, the same issue is prevalent in every culture.

The Haitian culture’s influence of the lives of us Haitians overpowers our senses. It seems like it controls our actions and mindsets as well as decisions. Being a girl makes this influence even greater. To have the first 18 years of your life defined by protocol takes it toll. You do not have a traditional childhood; while most kids are playing in the sand boxes, girls of Haitian descent can be found in a kitchen learning many intricate dishes, or learning how to do upholstery. Endless hours of learning how to sew and match china sets take the place of naptime.

All in all, being a girl in the Haitian culture sentences you to pretty much a lifetime of speculation by those who deem a girl’s right to womanhood by her capability of running a household will critique every action and decision you make. Now how fair is that?